


Rescue of the Thousand Sons

by Kereea



Category: If The Emperor Had A Text To Speech Device, Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Swearing, the might of the imperium through cute fluffy animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 12:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: Though a convoluted series of events originating in his getting a text to speech device, the Emperor has assembled four of his sons and not a moment too soon! Now that all misunderstandings are worked out, the Emperor has important news: another Black Crusade is building, and they need to thwart it! Step one, getting Magnus to recruit his sons for the Imperium…





	Rescue of the Thousand Sons

 “Well, I’m glad that’s all sorted!” Kitten said gratefully. “And thanks to Dorn’s fortifications, the battle didn’t even destroy the throne room a bit!”

 “I still think I won,” Magnus muttered, glaring at Corvus. Magnus then hissed in pain as Vulkan hugged him tighter. “I don’t need the bear hugs; I’m done fighting him!”

 “I am just practicing, brother!” Vulkan assured him, loosening the hold anyway.

 “…Practicing for what? Are you going to need to restrain another of our brethren?” Magnus asked suspiciously.

  “ **HE LIKELY MEANS WHEN THE LEADER OF THE CORGIS SHOWS UP** ,” the Emperor said.

 “…The who?” Magnus asked.

 “Anyway!” Karstodes said loudly, “I am so glad our fabulous overlord finally has _four_ of his beloved sons back with him!”

 “Corgis is code for _wolves_ ,” Wammudes hissed to Kitten and Vulcan.

 “For kicks and so we don’t set off Magnus,” Custodisi added.

 “Magnus just heard his name and the word ‘corgis’ perfectly well,” Magnus said from within Vulcan’s embrace. “What are you talking about?”

 “Eep!” Kitten groaned, going for his summoning book.

 “ **I HAVE FORBIDDEN THEM TO TELL YOU, AS PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR RUNNING OFF. SO THERE** ,” the Emperor said. “ **ON THE UPSIDE, CONGRATS FOR PULLING OFF THOSE WINGS. THEY LOOK LIKE THEY SHOULD BE GARISH AND CLASH WITH EVERYTHING, BUT YOU ARE JUST THE RIGHT SHADE OF RED TO PULL IT OFF. GOOD ON YOU, MAGNYMAGIC**.”

 “…Thank…you?” Magnus said as Vulcan finally set him down.

 “ **GOOD. LET US ATTEND TO BUSINESS** ,” the Emperor said. “ **THERE IS A BLACK CRUSADE HEADED TOWARDS TERRA AS WE SPEAK.** ”

 “There’s a WHAT?” Kitten yelled.

 “Wow, I really am back home,” Magnus muttered under his breath.

 “Are you certain, Father?” Rogal asked.

 “ **AM I THE FUCKING EMPEROR**?” the Emperor asked. “ **OF COURSE I AM FUCKING SURE, ROGAL. IT IS LED BY SEVERAL CHAMPIONS OF CHAOS, BUT NONE OF YOUR FALLEN BROTHERS HAVE JOINED AS OF YET**.”

 “Well that’s something at least,” Magnus sighed. “Not to brag but I was pretty nightmarish to deal with without my soul…probably anything short of one of the other Primarchs might have failed in besting me.”

 “ **WE DO NOT SEEM TO BE AT THE NOT BRAGGING PART** ,” the Emperor said.

 “Well,” Magnus sighed. “I’m fairly certain that while my magic certainly was and _still is_ mighty…Fulgrim and, if he got too close, Angron could have kicked my ass,” Magnus huffed. “Maybe Lorgar, he’s very powerful but he doesn’t get out much. Mortarion and Perturabo I could have put down perfectly well but the others would be trickier…”

 “So, do we know which champions are leading the crusade?” Corvus asked.

 “ **LUCIUS THE ETERNAL** -”

  “Oh. That is bad,” Rogal mused.

 “ **AHZEK AHRIMAN** -”

  “Well, we needed to have a _talk_ anyway,” Magnus huffed.

 “ **TYPHUS THE TRAVELLER** -”

 “Sounds fun,” Corvus sighed morbidly.

“- **AND KHARN THE BETRAYER** ,” the Emperor concluded.

 “ _I will_ _betray my hammer upside ‘is red horned head!_ ” Vulcan decided.

 “Well, at least we’re all in agreement there,” Kitten said. “And, hey, Corvus and Vulcan’s crusade can help combat the enemy one that’s coming, since we already have an army waiting!”

 “Kitten has a fabulous point!” Karstodes said. “This could not have worked out better if planned by our incredible overlord himself!”

 “ **I WAS AIMING FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS, BUT IT TURNED OUT WAY BETTER THAN WHAT I WAS GOING FOR. GOOD JOB, KIDS** ,” the Emperor admitted.

 “Thank you, father! I am pleased to know our great gathering of friends shall still have a purpose even though I was right and my dear brother was not evil!” Vulcan said. Magnus dodged another attempt to hug him.

 “I shall rouse the Black Templars from their Crusade as well,” Rogal said. “ _Yes_! We shall fight this, and win!”

 “…And I’ll help in some way, I suppose,” Magnus said. “My legion being rather…pledged to Chaos prevents me from fielding them, and it’s not like they’d just up and leave…”

 “ **ACTUALLY, I HAVE BEEN PEN PALS WITH YOUR LEGION FOR A LITTLE WHILE NOW** ,” the Emperor said. “ **THEY WROTE ME WHILE YOU WERE OUT, WORRIED ABOUT YOU. THEY SAID IF I COULD PROVE YOU WEREN’T KIDNAPPED AND TOOK MY OFFER OF YOUR OWN FREE WILL, THEY’D TOTALLY TAKE MY SIDE WITH YOU**.”

 “WHAT?!?” Magnus yelled.

 “They sounded very worried about you,” Rogal said.

 “Managed to trick the post carriers and everything,” Custodisi added.

 “And then started regular correspondence while his glorious majesty waited for you to come home already,” Karstodes said.

 “Here,” Whammudes said, passing Magnus the letters.

 “They…they really…I knew we got along better than the other traitors and their sons…but…” Magnus said as he read the papers.

 “Oh, that’s so sweet,” Kitten said, reading around Magnus’ arm.

 “See, brother! The bonds of Primarch and his sons are not to easily broken!” Vulcan said, clapping Magnus on the shoulder. “ _Certainly not by those Chaos nobs, you know!_ ”

  “I know,” Magnus said, smiling. “But…they can’t just come fight with us. I damned us _all_ to Tzeentch trying to save them, he has their _souls_.” He put a hand to his head, “I hate when that keeps biting me in the ass, I swear…”

 “ **WELP. LET’S GO GET SOME SOULS THEN** ,” the Emperor said.

 “What?” Magnus asked.

 “ **I FUCKING GOT YOUR FUCKING SOUL, DIDN’T I? YOU, ME, THE WARP, RIGHT NOW** ,” the Emperor said. “ **EVERYONE ELSE, KEEP WATCH**.”

 “For, what?” Kitten asked as the Emperor’s presence and Magnus left the room. “Oh, well, then…”

 “Kitten, that silver armor really is dreadful on you!” Karstodes said, popping up behind him. “We should…take it off.”

 “NO!” Kitten snapped, punching him.

.o.o.o.

 Magnus wasn’t too surprised how easy it was to find his father in Warp. The Chaos Gods called him the Anathema for a reason, he had an unusual and obvious presence there. It was really something to see him as he once was, instead of as he was now, trapped on the throne…

 “Well, this is nice,” the Emperor said.

 “Ah!” Magnus yelped, wings flaring.

 “What?” the Emperor asked, irritated.

 “Sorry,” Magnus muttered. “Been a long time since I’ve heard you psychically. Or…you know, any way that’s not the device. Just…startled me a bit. Is all.”

 “Well work on not being startled, we’re trying to cut your legion’s link to Tzeentch here after all.”

 “Yes. I know that,” Magnus said.

 The Emperor paused. “…It would be best if we work out any conflict now, before facing Tzeentch.”

 “It’s all right. Kitten showed me how to beat him,” Magnus said. “It is not something that would ever occur to me _naturally_ , but it works.”

 “I am enthusiastic to see you have a go, then,” the Emperor said. “Wow. Hear that fucking tone in my voice, huh? The machine can’t get that!”

 “Plus, the less effort you have to expend the less your soul shatters,” Magnus noted.

 “Yes, that too. But the Black Crusade will come if my soul is in a thousand pieces or two thousand.”

 “…I feel like one of the Custodes would make a quip about soul-glue or something here,” Magnus said.

 “It would not be a quip. It would be idiocy,” the Emperor said.

 “Oh, give them more credit. Kitten saved my soul, after all.”

 “Don’t think I’m not teasing you about that once the crusade is over,” the Emperor said.

 “Eh. Less likely to abuse it than you,” Magnus said.

 “Young man, I am your fucking _father_ ,” the Emperor said, pretending to be offended.

 “And I am the adoptive father!”

 “You most certainly _are not_!” Magnus scoffed as they faced Tzeentch. “My adoptive father had only _one set of hands_!”

 “I can do that,” Tzeentch said, changing forms in a blink.

 “That’s beside the point,” the Emperor said. “We need his sons’ souls, pronto. Fork them over.”

 “What is a point, anyway?” Tzeentch mused.

 “Oh, don’t start,” the Emperor said.

 “How do you know I am starting? Maybe I had already started and you are merely late,” Tzeentch said.

 “You can’t start arguing with us before we get here!” Magnus said.

 “Are you sure about that, Son of Anathema? Maybe it simply shows foresight, something you should be familiar with despite only having half-sight. What does one call foresight with only one eye, twosight?”

 “Give us my sons’ souls!” Magnus snapped.

 “Oh hush you, we’re not even there yet. Start planning how to get them now, though, because my plan to keep them is very-”

 “NO! I now know how to defeat you, deceiver!” Magnus said. “I just ignore your taunting and scheming altogether…and hit you with small, angry animals!”

 He shaped psychic constructs into dozens of angry mongooses and sent them flying at Tzeentch.

 “Ah! They bite!” Tzeentch yelped as the constructs attacked. “And they remind me of the thing _that never happened_! ”

 “That is so adorable. I am amazed it is working but have to admit its effect,” the Emperor said. “Also, I would want to pet one, if I was not sure it would eat my astral face off.”

 “Well, father, are you physically or metaphorically in any way a snake? If not, they should be fine with you,” Magnus said before turning back to Tzeentch. “Yes, my furry tempest! Attack!”

 “I feel this is a real bonding moment,” the Emperor said. “Now, you abomination of chaos, my sons’ sons’ souls aren’t yours anymore, okay? And your link to them is going away. Either you drop it or I cut parts off you with this awesome flaming sword until you do. All while Magnus’ epic weasel brigade bites your ass…or what I assume is your ass, is, is that your _face_?”

 “They’re _mongooses_ ,” Magnus huffed.

 “Oh. Close enough,” the Emperor said before drifting closer. “Come on. Give them up or I start hitting you. And this time there’s biting mongooses. Come on.”

 He started poking Tzeentch with his flaming sword, “Give me. Gimme. Come on. Give them here.”

 “They’re in my squiggly-spooch!” Tzeentch yelled.

 “…I don’t even know what that is,” Magnus admitted quietly.

 “Something painful, keep doing it, Magnymagic!” the Emperor said. “Come on fucker, it’s soul giving time!”

 “Come on, Anathema, that’s a lot of souls!” Tzeentch said.

 “It’s only like a thousand, hence the _name_ , out of what are easily billions you have. Fork. Them. OVER!” the Emperor said.

 “You know, forks really are quite-”

 “ _Gimme back my sons, you asshole!_ ” Magnus roared, doubling the number of mongooses engulfing the god’s astral form.

 “Sometimes I wonder how Khorne didn’t get you with that temper,” the Emperor muttered. “Ah! Here we go, these look familiar, Magnymagic?”

 “Drop ‘em!” Magnus barked at Tzeentch.

 “Maybe it’s a good thing I let him have you back…” Tzeentch muttered as Magnus took back the souls. “Yeesh, when you lose it, you lose it…you’d better fuck things up for _him_ now with that pissy attitude …ooh, there’s an idea…”

 “And…he’s gone,” Magnus said.

 “He’s really got a point about your temper. I wonder if what worked on the Black Templars works on grumpy psykers?” the Emperor mused as Magnus quickly checked over the souls to make sure they were in good condition.

 “We…we did it. They’re…they’re free,” Magnus said. “…If Tzeentch fucking curses them again I am going to _rip out his_ -”

 “ _Again_ , watch the temper before you fall to Khorne next, ‘kay?” the Emperor asked. “Seriously, Magnus. You need to learn to breathe, son. I know you’re semi-incorporeal these days but _come on_.”

 “Right…right. Thank you, father. This…this means a lot,” Magnus said. “My sons…they mean a lot.”

 “This may come as a shock, but I can imagine the feeling,” the Emperor said. “Now, let’s get those souls home and then see what everyone else got up to while we were out.”

.o.o.o.

 “And then, like an idiot, that time I slipped up and told Tzeentch I wasn’t silver,” Kitten said.

 “That was foolish, yes,” Rogal said.

 “Eh. Tzeentch could make anyone snap,” Corvus said, waggling his hand. “Should see the times he tried getting in my head. Kept asking me why ravens were like writing desks.”

 “Because there is a b in both and an n in neither,” Vulcan said.

 “What?” Kitten asked.

 “What?” Vulcan asked back.

 “…But there’s…there’s not a b in…wait…” Custodisi said before Magnus popped back in. “Oh, hey. How’d it go?”

 “ **WE HAVE DONE IT** ,” the Emperor said. “ **AND KITTEN, MY THANKS FOR TEACHING MAGNUS AN IMPORTANT LESSON ON THE TIME TO USE BRUTE FORCE WHEN YOU WERE ON A FIELD TRIP. GOOD JOB**.”

 “Oh, thank you my Emperor!” Kitten said. “…Wait. Magnus, what did you do?”

 “Buried Tzeentch in a pile of magically constructed mongooses,” Magnus said.

 “…Nice,” Kitten said while Karstodes started laughing.

 “So, when will your legion return to us, brother? And from where?” Vulcan asked.

 “They’re going to make a wide swing around Ultramarine space, take some hops, skips, and jumps through the bits of the Webway we mapped, and hopefully come out near Nocturne,” Magnus said. “…We should probably paint our armor red again. So you can tell us from the ones in the Black Crusade.”

 “Good plan,” Corvus said. “I’ll have my Raven Guard spread the word.”

 “ **WE SHALL ALL SPREAD THE WORD** ,” the Emperor said.

 “Another podcast, father?” Rogal asked.

 “ **NO. VIDEO. WE SHALL MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE IMPERIUM** ,” the Emperor said. “ **NO MORE SECRECY. YOU FOUR ARE BACK AND ALL SHOULD KNOW**.”

 “Must we?” Rogal asked.

 “ **ROGAL YOU WILL GET YOUR ASS IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA SO HELP ME** ,” the Emperor said.

 “Here, Magnus! Let me help you with your horns!” Vulcan said.

 “Vulcan, don’t touch them…huh?” Magnus asked as Vulcan handed him a helmet.

 “It will make it look like the horns are decoration, brother, and not attached to your skull!” Vulkan said cheerfully. “Have to look your friendliest for our friendly citizens, yes?”

 “You even put a scarab on it…thank you, brother,” Magus said, donning the helmet.

 “Very you!” Kitten said, giving him a thumbs-up.

 “Thanks. Let me see if I can fix that armor while we wait for a camera…I’m sure I can get it gold again,” Magnus said.

 “As long as I can keep it on, we’re good!” Kitten said.

.o.o.o.

 “ **TESTING, TESTING** ,” the Emperor said. “ **OKAY THEN. PEOPLE OF THE IMPERIUM, THIS IS YOUR EMPEROR, THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND. I HAVE GLORIOUS NEWS FOR YOU ALL. FOUR OF MY SONS HAVE BEEN RETURNED TO US, THANKS TO MY GREAT PLANNING** ,” he paused for a moment, “ **AND THEIR GREAT…TENACITY. THESE SONS ARE ROGAL DORN, PRIMARCH OF THE IMPERIAL FISTS, VULKAN, PRIMARCH OF THE SALAMANDERS, CORVUS, PRIMARCH OF THE RAVEN GUARD, AND MY FORMERLY-AGAINST-BUT-NOW-WITH-US SON MAGNUS, PRIMARCH OF THE THOUSAND SUNS. BOTH MAGNUS AND HIS LEIGON HAVE LEFT THE SWAY OF CHAOS TO DEFEND THE IMPERIUM ONCE MORE, AND WILL SOON HAVE REPAINTED THEIR ARMOR RED SO WE KNOW WHICH SPACE MARINE PSYKERS NOT TO SHOOT.** ”

 “Yes, that would be helpful,” Magnus muttered.

 " **THIS GLORIOUS RETURN HAS HAPPENED NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON, AS THE FORCES OF CHAOS ARE GOING TO MOUNT ANOTHER BLACK CRUSADE AGAINST OUR PEOPLE. MY SONS AND I SHALL MAKE SURE THAT CHAOS DOES NOT PREVAIL, AS THEY SHALL NOW TELL YOU THEMSELVES BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO DO ALL THE FUCKING TALKING HERE** ," the Emperor said.

 After some confused looks between the Primarchs followed by a short shoving match, Rogal was pushed to the front.

 “It is I, Rogal Dorn, Primarch of the Imperial Fists and their successor chapters, which include the Black Templars,” Rogal said. “I shall be in charge of the fortifications which shall be created to reduce the damage from the upcoming Black Crusade, as fortifications are a specialty of myself and the Imperial Fists. The Crimson Fists and Black Templars will also be under my command.”

 “…Little more,” Magnus hissed.

 “What do you mean?” Rogal asked quietly.

 “One of those niceties you say during the podcasts? You’re good at the rousing talk,” Custodisi offered. “What would you say If you wanted this to lift Boy’s spirits?”

 “Ah, yes,” Rogal said. “I undertake the solemn duty to protect this Imperium with all the strength I have in me, for I know the future of humanity is the greatest hope worth fighting for. I am sure many of my sons feel the same way. So, fear not, Imperial Citizens, we _are_ ready to defend you!”

 “Good enough, we’ll leave the rest of rousing to Vulcan,” Kitten said approvingly.

  “Hello, citizens!” Vulcan said. “I am Vulcan, Primarch of the Salamanders, and also their little brothers the Black Dragons! Who shall be renamed the Green Dragons _because green iz just better, ya hear?_ ”

 “ **ALL COLORS ARE OBJECTIVELY THE SAME IF THEY ARE NOT GOLD** ,” the Emperor interjected.

 “Anyway! My sons are I love this Imperium and all its people, and we shall show that love by _smashing its enemies really hard with our badass hammers!_ And also aiding with evacuations!” Vulcan said. “Let it be known that as the Black Crusade tries to darken your doors, _our fires shall light the way, yeah?_ ”

 “ **I AM LIKING HOW THIS IS GOING. CORVUS, DO NOT BREAK THE MOOD** ,” the Emperor said.

 “…I am Corvus Corax, Primarch of the Raven Guard,” Corvus said. “My guard do not often fight the open wars of other Space Marines. But do not fear. We always find the enemy’s weakpoint, and use it to shatter them, as we shall shatter this Black Crusade of tyrants. They shall be cast down as I did the ancient tech-lords of Lycaeus, and we shall be free of it’s terror once more.”

 “Nicely said,” Magnus said.

 “I do not think he is done,” Rogal said.

 “We shall not suffer Chaos to try and control us,” Corvus said. “We shall fight them in any way we can, to force them from our space and back in the Warp from whence they came. Chaos will not blight our planets for long if I have any say in it.”

 “ **THAT WAS ACTUALLY PRETTY INTENSE. I APPROVE. MAGNUS, YOU’RE UP** ,” the Emperor said.

 “…I am Magnus the Red, Primarch of the Thousand Sons and former traitor to this Imperium,” Magnus said. “Short version…I fucked up. Badly. And I _will_ make up for it.”

 “ **I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO BE SO BLUNT. THAT’S USUALLY ROGAL’S THING** ,” the Emperor said.

 “My sons and I will show this Imperium that we have a place in it, and that…that the people and my father are not wrong to place their trust in us once more,” Magnus said quietly. “I…I am proof that you _can_ come back from Chaos. You should always remember—when it stands before you, look it in the eye, tell it to fuck off, and if it doesn’t you beat the _shit_ out of it!”

 “Yeah! _Fuck Chaos_!” Vulcan cheered, scooping up a yelping Magnus for another hug.

 “ **VULCAN, LANGUAGE**!” the Emperor scolded.

 “…Seriously?” Kitten asked. “Ah-hem. Capitan General of the Custodes here. We shall continue to defend the Emperor and—err, Vulcan, watch his spine!—and the citizens of Terra with all of our might, as my…scantily clad officers can attest to.”

 “ **OH NO, I THOUGHT THEY LEFT** ,” the Emperor said as Vulcan finally put a groaning Magnus down. Magnus feebly kicked his brother in the shin, which made Vulcan laugh again.

 “Attest we can, in the sight of our glorious overlord no less!” Karstodes declared. “Citizens, you shall never find a more fabulously tough defense force in all the galaxy, let me assure you!”

 “We go the looks! We got the power!” Whammudes said, flexing.

 “And…I’ve got the camera so I’ll just stay here,” Custodisi said. “…My lord, how did you not notice I was the one filming this?”

 “ **IT’S BEEN A LONG FUCKING DAY, ALL RIGHT**?” the Emperor said. “ **ALL RIGHT, CITIZENS, NO REASON TO BE ALARMED. WE GOT PRIMARCHS, WE GOT SPACE MARINES, WE GOT TRIPPY GUARDS, AND WE GOT ME KICKING ASS IN THE WARP. WE’RE GOOD. CHAOS IS GOING TO LOSE. AGAIN. BECAUSE IT IS MADE OF FUCKING LOSERS. EMPEROR, OUT**.”

 “…Could have ended a little better but I think we got the point across!” Kitten said brightly as Custodisi shut off the camera.

 “ **GOOD JOB, KIDS** ,” the Emperor said. “ **I…SUPPOSE NOW YOU SHOULD START GETTING READY TO SHIP OUT**.”

 “Well, I should probably talk with the local Librarians first, tell them some useful anti-Chaos tactics,” Magus said.

 “I must first ensure the palace is fortified, father!” Rogal Dorn said. “And see to Boy’s safety!”

 “We will need to establish proper communications as well,” Corvus said. “Those are essential to a well-run campaign.”

 “And I must hug every other Custode in the palace as thanks for keeping you safe, as well as have my men pass out some of our new weaponry!” Vulcan said brightly. “ _Ya can’t get rid of us too fast, old man!_ ”

 “Well, then I shall make sure a hearty breakfast is ready for everyone tomorrow morning!” Kitten said enthusiastically.

**“I SEE. WELL, THEN. THANK YOU** ,” the Emperor said. “ **FOR REMEMBERING YOUR DUTIES ON TERRA, AND FOR NOT RUNNING OFF AS FAST AS POSSIBLE**.”

 “Vulcan’s right, may you do need to work harder to get rid of us,” Magnus said. “We should keep you from being worshipped as a god again, at least.”

 “Wait, what was happening?” Covus asked.

 “Oh, yes, it was ironic,” Rogal said.  

 “It sounds like it!” Vulcan laugh. “Come, my brothers! To rest, so we may enjoy our breakfast after a proper night’s sleep. _Unless anybody wants a fight_?”

 “Yeah…no,” Magnus said slowly, backing away. “It’s been a long day, I’m going to psychically contact my sons to check on them and then go to bed.”

 “Tell them Uncle Vulcan says hello!” Vulcan said, waving after Magnus.

 “Fine,” Magnus sighed.

 “Sleeping somewhere other than a ship or in the Engine of Woes’ trunk does sound nice…” Corvus admitted. “I’ll get some rest too.”

 “I should really start my hug rounds. There’s a lot of Custodes!” Vulcan said.

  “Come, I shall show you their usual posts,” Rogal said, leading Vulcan out after Corvus.

 “…Those poor guards,” Kitten said.

 “I thought the hugs were okay, myself,” Custodisi said.

 “ **THAT WENT GREAT** ,” the Emperor said. “ **NOW WE JUST HAVE TO PREVENT THE THOUSAND SONS AND SPACE CORGIS FROM KILLING EACH OTHER DURING THE CRUSADE, ESPECIALLY ONCE BOTH OF THEM HAVE THEIR PRIMARCHS BACK. KITTEN, AS THE OWNER OF MAGNUS’ SOUL, YOU ARE TO STOP HIM FROM DOING ANYTHING STUPID AT THAT TIME**.”

“I’m sorry, WHAT?” Kitten yelled.

 “Ah, I’ve missed that sound,” Custodisi said. “So _nice_ to have things back to normal.”

**Author's Note:**

> So after binging TTS, I had a burst of inspiration and wrote this as the first part of prep for the upcoming Black Crusade in the TTS 'verse.


End file.
